Merry Christmas! A drunken tribute…

Merry Christmas everyone!

I hope you all had a brilliant day, and that the big man brought you what you wanted!

I for one got some gorgeous presents, and am in fact blogging directly from my brand new iPhone 5! WAHOOOO!!

Personally, I do not drink (I know) but I’m sure for many of you, alcohol has been a large part of the ‘getting merry’ part of the Christmas Day job description, so here, enjoy a picture of a drunken Santa:

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Seasons Greetings!

Strawberry Santas – WOW

Just seen these, and I have to admit, they are the coolest things I’ve ever seen! Okay, so maybe not ever seen, but they are pretty cool! I actually really want to make these now…

They actually look pretty simple to make too. Just some strawberries, piped cream and black/white icing pens!

A fun, festive treat – and you can call it healthy(ish) because they’re strawberries 😉

Oh, and…. HAPPY CHRISTMAS! I hope the big man brings everyone something lovely 🙂

Chav Nativity

A couple of my friends performed this in our Winter Showcase for performing arts at college, and it went down a treat!

Seeing as it’s Christmas “an’ all that”, I thought I’d share it with you all, “innit”! Enjoy!

Chav nativity

Chav nativity…

There’s this bird called Mary, yeah? She’s a virgin (wossat then?)

She’s not married or nuffink, but she’s got this boyfriend, Joe, innit? He does joinery an’ that. Mary lives with him in a crib dahn Nazaref.

One day Mary meets this bloke Gabriel. She’s like `Oo you lookin at?’

Gabriel just goes ‘You got one up the duff, you have.’

Mary’s totally gobsmacked.

She gives it to him large ‘Stop dissin’ me yeah? I ain’t no Kappa-slapper.
I never bin wiv no one!’

So Mary goes and sees her cousin Liz, who’s six months gone herself. Liz is largin’ it. She’s filled with spirits, Barcardi Breezers an’ that.

She’s like ‘Orright, Mary, I can feel me bay-bee in me tummy and I reckon I’m well blessed. Think of all the extra benefits an’ that we is gonna get.
‘Mary goes ‘Yeah, s’pose you’re right’

Mary an’ Joe ain’t got no money so they have to ponse a donkey, an’ go dahn Bethlehem on that.

They get to this pub an’ Mary wants to stop, yeah? To have her bay-bee an’ that.

But there ain’t no room at the inn, innit? So Mary an’ Joe break an’ enter into this garridge, only it’s filled wiv animals. Cahs an’ sheep an’ that.

Then these three geezers turn up, looking proper bling, wiv crowns on their heads. They’re like `Respect, bay-bee Jesus’, an’ say they’re wise men from the East End.

Joe goes: ‘If you’re so wise, wotchoo doin’ wiv this Frankenstein an’
myrrh? Why dincha just bring gold, Adidas and Burberry?’

It’s all about to kick off when Gabriel turns up again an’ sez he’s got another message from this Lord geezer.
He’s like ‘The police is comin an’ they is killin’ all the bay-bees. You
better nash off to Egypt.’ Joe goes ‘You must be monged if you think I’m goin’ dahn Egypt on a minging donkey’

Gabriel sez ‘Suit yerself, pal. But it’s your look out if you stay’.

So they go dahn Egypt till they’ve stopped killin the first-born an’ it’s safe an’ that.

Then Joe and Mary and Jesus go back to Nazaref, an’ Jesus turns water into Stella.
‘Appy Crimbo!

Getting into the Christmas spirit – “Elf”, top 5 movie moments

Okay, so I’m sure everyone is aware of the film “Elf”. If you haven’t seen it, you must – it is the best Christmas film ever made! (In my opinion anyway) and I’m sure many more will agree.

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Buddy the Elf is played by none other than the brilliant Will Ferrell.

Buddy is brought up in the North Pole amongst other Elves, but due to his giant size, discovers that he is in fact a human, and that Santa is not his real Dad. His real Dad lives in New York, so Buddy is sent there in search of his true identity. But of course, Buddy doesn’t understand the life of a New Yorker, so everything goes wrong for him…

Here are my top 5 favourite movie moments…

1. When Buddy sits outside the shower singing “Baby it’s Cold Outside” – This part in itself is funny, but it’s the bit just after that makes me laugh the most, when she tells him not to look, so he covers his eyes and runs… right into the lockers!

2. When he tries to put the star on top of the Christmas tree– The Christmas tree that Buddy and Michael bring into the house is huge. In fact, it’s far too big for the house, because it curls over to fit under the ceiling, and there’s no way that either of them could reach the top of it. So, Buddy runs out, then runs back in, jumps on the sofa, then off it and onto the tree. Of course he doesn’t reach the top, he just grabs onto it and ends up pulling the tree on top of himself…

3. When Buddy and Emily kiss – It’s the cutest thing ever! It’s just his face afterwards, he looks so happy and completely bowled over. But it’s when he runs into his Dad’s office shouting “I’m in love!” that really makes it for me.

4. When he gets drunk in the mail room– This part is absolutely brilliant! His dancing is hilarious, and all of the mail room workers get behind him. At last, Buddy has some friends.

5. When Buddy’s Dad sings to save Christmas– Let’s face it, it’s magical. The man who hated Christmas, was horrible to Buddy, and really was the “scrooge” of the film, sings along with the carols to help make Santa’s sleigh fly again. I’m going to be honest, I cried. I’m a sucker for happy endings…

I know I said top 5… but there is a sixth…

6. “You sit on a throne of lies” – I’m not going to describe it… just watch it 😉

Seriously though, if you haven’t seen it, you should watch it right now. You will not regret it. Well, you might because you’ll want to watch it again and again – it will take over your life!

Come on guys – it’s Christmas!

10 things I love about Christmas…

In no particular order…

1. Food – when else is it okay to eat everything you possibly can fit on a plate, then go on to eat a big piece of Christmas cake and THEN nibble on sweets and crisps all day?! Okay, so you put on twice your original body weight in a week, but it’s all worth it 😉

What's better than a Christmas dinner?!

What’s better than a Christmas dinner?!

2. Secret Santa! – It never ends up staying secret, but it’s so much fun! It’s also okay to buy the most ridiculous gifts for your friends. Plus, everyone gets something, but you only have to buy one gift each.

3. Peeking under the tree – Come on, no matter how old you are, everyone does it…

4. Wrapping presents – I love making them look pretty with ribbons and bows! It’s only going to get ripped off, but it’s nice to know that I spent time on it…

Wrap them beautifully so they look good under the tree :)

Wrap them beautifully so they look good under the tree 🙂

5. Putting up the tree – It makes you feel festive several weeks early!

6. Waking up really early – You never want to wake up at 6am in the morning at any other time of the year, but suddenly at Christmas, it’s okay!

7. Spending time with the people I love – It’s not every day that you get to spend time with nearly every member of your family, and all f your closest friends. Plus, it means lots of parties 😉

8. It’s okay to wear red and green together – MAJOR colour clash at any other time of the year, but at Christmas, it’s “festive”.

9. Watching rubbish T.V – Everyone complains about rubbish daytime T.V throughout the year, but make it Christmas themed and everyone wants to watch it… ALL DAY!

10. Christmas films! – Elf, Love Actually, Home Alone… Christmas films are the best movies ever!

What’s your favourite part of Christmas?